Bit Chiellini

He ran to referees to complain like a b****, but they told him to go f*** himself.

Then he cried to Mexes like a b****, but he told him to STFU.

Then he cried to Bonera like a b****, but he told him to STFU.

Rumours say even Tassotti had to have a word with this soft-a** snitchb****.

Then he went on to the media to cry like a b**** and it is safe to think he also went to a psychiatrist, who told him to STFU. Now Giorgio is probably at his mom’s place complaining like a b****, but not even the greatest mother-love can stand this sort of b****ing from a grown man and he might be disowned from his family. Only Juventus is retarded enough to act like he’s an OK dude.

Maldini would tell with elegance:

Zlatan is more straight-up:

Shoutout to snitchb**** II – Morgan De Sanctis.
“Referee, referee. Did you see? Did you see? I was such a great hall-monitor North-Korea invited me to be their honorary citizen.”

Move 67 from the Snitchbook: fall-on-your-knees-for-the-injustice-of-the-world.

Thanks To:
Microsoft Paint
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Footballzz
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Aftonbladet
Bring Your Sister
Toblerone Jones
SkySports

“Io, Ibra” Book Review

Written by Zlatan Ibrahimovic and David Lagercrantz, “Io, Ibra” sold 500,000 copies in Sweden and it is part of every fourth household there. The latest news from the co-author is that there is interest to turn it into a movie. What was it about?

A story of a ghetto-kid making it big. The American dream accomplished by a Swedish new face from a war-refugee family. A story on how to protect your own and blast everyone else.

Young Z @ Rosengård

It felt a little different than the other biographies because of its age. I heard it was done through interviews and during the read I got a feeling like most questions came from scandals or YouTube (marvelous addition to the stories if you know how to use it). Some might suggest it was all Ibra bragging about his triumphs and coming clean on selected episodes but he also sheds light on hard subjects like segregation, alcoholism, drug abuse and poverty.

At first it looked like a very honest piece to me. Zlatan talking about what happens behind the curtain and showing this to all who have been against him. After finishing, however, it seems like he picked his fights very carefully. He is very strategic as he says it himself. By the end it seems most of the episodes are him just advocating his point of view to set the record straight and punch out his opponents.

Mama said knock you out
Mama said knock you out

But I don’t hold it against him at all. As weird as it sounds it makes me respect him even more since this is like a first person view to the mindset he has. The confidence/arrogance he wears. He shows the attitude that is needed to carry on. Deep down I see a man who understands his faults but plays on his strengths. The most similar thing I’ve read is Salvador Dali’s “Diaries of a Genius”. Similarly, he criticizes everybody else while talking about his own grace although he has earned his spot in the history with such attitude. And if van Basten (another figure making a supportive role in the book) was called Leonardo da Vinci, Zlatan can take the odd-mustached egocentric place in his art.

Artist. Champion. Moustache.
Artist. Champion. Moustache.

The much furored book is everything you wanted it to be. To his followers it was like a bible, to his haters there was a sentence on every page to be ripped out and put into their context or logic. That’s what Zlatan is all about – hard to ignore, polarizing figure, unquestioned champion.

All pictures are from Bring Your Sister which is the best blog/site/place for picture-loving Ibraholics.

Ibra’s Importance

A lot has been said about Zlatan Ibrahimovic since the season ended, various comments and thoughts about his performances, however despite being a divisive figure in many ways, one thing everyone can agree on is that the first half of his season was better than the second, but what should we make of his season overall?

First of all, anyone who considers this season anything other than a success for him should stop reading now. He’s had a good year, and although he was much better from August to January than January to May, he still chipped in with crucial assists during his ‘bad period’

Ibrahimovic’s importance comes not so much the games which he’s won for Milan with his goals, or helped Milan win with his assists,  but his importance was shown by the way he managed to instill a winning mentality in the side, something that was lacking since most of the senatore’s who’d tasted success lacked motivation (particularly against smaller sides and perhaps this goes towards explaining their inconsistency), and most of the younger talented players hadn’t tasted real success yet, this is why Ibra was our most important player this season.

If there was an award for Milan’s best player of the season, I’d give it to Thiago Silva, no doubt he was essential, and he was a rock throughout, for his consistent performances this season, the way he’s matured and his dogged and determined defending, he should win it, and in face, I would actually have Robinho second, ahead of Ibra in third, because I think the Brazilian’s performances are underrated as a result of his erratic finishing (which often leads to people forgetting all of the other things he does so well)

However, if deciding on who’s been the most important, I would say Ibra. This winning mentality has given the side a new-found determination, and it’s not something that’s easy to get. Some games Ibrahimovic dragged the side through on his own (mainly earlier on in the season) and he scored some wonder-goals along the way but the most telling factor that he succeeded in bringing this winning spirit in, are the games Milan won without him.

Near the end, without Ibra, or in big games like the derby, l30nardo was well and truly thumped by Allegri, and that was as a result of (not only) better tactics on Allegri’s part, but also the determination of the players to effectively bring home the scudetto despite the absence of one Zlatan Ibrahimovic

It’s been said that Ibrahimovic and Pato don’t really get on too well, and I’ve heard eyewitness stories from people at games that Ibra acts like a dick towards him amongst others in the warmup and so forth, and maybe this is true, who am I to question these people, BUT I feel Pato has a lot to learn from him nonetheless, maybe not so much on the character front, but in becoming a winner himself, and this scudetto is probably the first step in the right direction for that, and as a player, there are some qualities Ibra would do well to pass on to the duck too.

A lot has been said and done about Ibra this season, he’s split many people’s opinions, and I think it’s a shame that some people will fail to give him recognition, either out of spite for people who they feel give him too much, or simply because they don’t like him, but whether you think he was our best player or not this season, it’s clear to me that Ibra is very much like some of our senatores…. he’s a champion!

Two Champions

By Hefin Davies

Pato vs Ibrahimovic – Who Has Had The Better Season?

When Milan signed Ibrahimovic in late August, almost everyone thought that Milan’s strike partnership for the season would include both Pato and Ibrahimovic together in the starting line-up. Of course, Robinho hadn’t arrived by then. But even when he did, Alexandre Pato and Zlatan the man looked destined to lead Milan’s front line, supported by either one of the two smiling Brazilians, ‘Dinho and ‘Binho.

The three protagonists of Milan's attack
The three protagonists of Milan's attack

Now that the season is practically over, Milan is faced with a dilemma. In fact, this issue started mid-season after Pato returned from his long injury lay-off. By then, Ronaldinho was already gone, and Robinho had established himself as a vital part of Milan’s attack due to his work-rate and fancy footwork. Despite that, Pato was paired with Ibrahimovic upfront, and needless to say, the outcome was much less than desired. However, this isn’t a discussion of whether the two strikers are compatible or not, it is basically a comparison between the two of them this season. Since Milan’s formation includes one leading striker supported by Robinho, with Cassano as his cover, there is one spot left for one of Pato and Zlatan. Pato has emerged this season as a center forward, the same position that Ibra occupies. So unless Massimiliano Allegri is ready to scrap his formation to accommodate the two together, which is highly unlikely, only one of them could be the focal point of Milan’s attack. So who has had the better season, the lethal Brazilian or the big Swede?

A look at both strikers’ statistics this season would reveal the following:

Zlatan Ibrahimovic: 42 appearances in all competitions (3 as a sub), 24 goals, 11 assists. (0.57 goal/game ratio)

Alexandre Pato: 23 appearances in all competitions (7 as a sub), 15 goals, 3 assists. (0.65 goal/game ratio)

Incompatible Pair? Hardly, they complete each other
Incompatible Pair? Hardly, they complete each other

Ibrahimovic has played almost double Pato’s games, due to the young Brazilian’s injury problems, yet Pato has the better goal/game ratio. But Ibra has the better assist ratio with 0.26 assists/game, since Pato has 0.13 assists/game. What is notable is that the difference in their goal and assists ratios isn’t huge, but comparing their shot ratio, Pato emerges as a clear winner. Out of 70 shots all season, Pato had 32 of them on goal, 15 of which were scored. That is a staggering 0.47 goal/shot on target. Which basically means that every two shots on target by Pato, one of them will be a goal. That is an outstanding achievement and proves how clinical Pato is, which is even more impressive considering his age and the fact that he never got a consistent run of games due to his constant injuries. On the other hand, Ibrahimovic has had 140 shots this season, which is exactly double that of Pato. Out of the 140 shots, 70 of them were on target, and 24 were converted into goals. So that means that Ibra’s goal/shot on target ratio sits at 0.34, which isn’t bad at all, but isn’t quite where Pato’s is.

But of course, statistics only tell half the story. One shouldn’t undermine the importance of Ibra on the team. His Charlie Sheen ‘winning’ attitude has brushed off on other players. It affected youngsters who hadn’t won silverware before, and seniors who had tasted success but struggled in recent times. Ibrahimovic’s signing inspired the team and provided the players with much needed self belief. In addition to that, Ibra practically carried the team’s attack in the first 4 months. Milan endured a difficult start to the campaign, and while most players were still starting their engines, Ibrahimovic made sure Milan had something to play for till the end of the season. His physical presence upfront was immense for Allegri’s side, as Ibrahimovic scored for fun while the mister was busy building the team. No one could forget Ibra’s genius solo goals to win 1-0 games.

On the other hand, Pato enjoyed a great finish to the season. He stepped up when Ibra suffered with goal drought and attitude problems, and carried Milan’s attack without any problems. His start to the season was good with a brace vs Chievo coming to mind, but injuries cut his season short. Nevertheless, he maintained a great clinical record, scoring in most games and just after returning from injury. Pato also delivered when it mattered. He scored when it was deeply needed, with a man of the match performance along with a brace vs Inter, as well as vital goals vs Chievo (2nd leg) and Fiorentina, to name a few.

Ibrahimovic has definitely enjoyed the better start to the campaign, as Pato’s injuries didn’t help his cause. But even if the Brazilian was fit, it’s highly unlikely that he would have had the big effect that Zlatan has had on Milan’s season until the Christmas break. On the other hand, while Ibrahimovic was busy getting red cards for fun at the end of the season, Pato was enjoying a great spell of form until injuries once again hindered his progress. It is undeniable that both players played their roles in Milan’s success this season. Both of them stepped up when the other was struggling, so in a way, they completed each other.

Needless to say, this comparison counts for almost nothing, since no one knows what will happen next season. Maybe Allegri will accommodate them together, and even if he didn’t, both men are likely to be protagonists for Milan in the next campaign. With Pato’s injury troubles, and Ibrahimovic’s habit of losing his nerves and shying away in Europe, both men will be needed for Milan to reach silverware. They both enjoyed good seasons individually and on team level, and it’s arguable which one of them outshone the other. However, this shouldn’t concern any Milan fan, as Milanisti should be grateful to boast having two of the best strikers in the world as a part of their team.

Teammates: Success for either of them means victory for the other
Teammates: Success for either of them means victory for the other

The 5 Stops Where AC Milan’s Scudetto Was Won

1. Signing Of Ibrahimovic

The two suspensions Ibrahimovic has recently received from the FIGC may have ruined everything Ibra did this season with Milan, but one must admit that once this guy was signed Milan suddenly became title contenders. His amazing solo displays in the first half of the season were more than enough to put Milan on top. He has been fundamental to Milan’s Scudetto winning season, and it’s his 8th consecutive league (Dutch – Italian – Spanish) title in a row. Not a coincidence at all.

The signing of Ibrahimovic was the start of a great season for Milan
The signing of Ibrahimovic was the start of a great season for Milan

2. AC Milan vs. Real Madrid

I know Real Madrid isn’t a Serie A team, but Milan’s match against them at San Siro was the start of a great season for Ignazio Abate. Many Milan supporters were upset that the fullback positions, which are pretty weak compared to the CBs Milan have, weren’t reinforced with better quality players. But, in the game against Real Madrid, Abate put an amazing performance (when compared to the performances he put before) to stop Cristiano Ronaldo (with the help of Gennaro Gattuso) and he never stopped improving from that game on. Soon, Milan had the formidable defense that won us the title.

3. Milan 3 – 1 Palermo (Round 11)

It was in this match that Milan clinched the very important 3 points to go on and top the league table. Allegri knew the importance of that match, claiming in his pre-match conference that it was Milan’s most important match of the season, and so it proved to be. The only downside of that match was the injury of Inzaghi ( who might feature in Milan’s next 2 Serie A matches) and the injury of Pato just before the derby.

Pato - Milan's Wonderkid
Pato - Milan's Wonderkid

4. Milan 3 – 0 Napoli (Round 27)

Milan were facing one of their competitors for the title and knew that it was bound to be a tough match. Yet, despite the great team Mazzari has made Napoli into, Milan’s Trio (Ibra, Boateng, Pato) proved to be too good for Napoli’s defense as they scored one each. This win gave Milan the confidence and the lead needed to eventually win the Scudetto.

5. Milan 3 – 0 Inter (Round 32)

Pre-match, no one thought that Milan would have it as easy as they did against their arch rivals. Everyone expected a very tough encounter (with the absence of Ibrahimovic), but a very very early Pato goal gave Milan the boost to maintain their lead, control the game, and eventually score two more to leave Inter happy they didn’t concede more.

Allegri's laugh says it all: Milan Scudetto #18